..you know, it’s a bit curious and funny, actually..

.. in my more rational moments, I am actually asking myself what I expected? Another miracle healing? You being healthy again just like that? Able to walk, full sight, no loss of memory, everything as it was pre 2002 or maybe just pre 2013/2014? Not really sure, but only this and my high hopes for a miracle to happen can be the reason for the amount of sadness, loss and grief I feel now. I guess most of us fans knew this wouldn’t happen. You had retired, and all I wished for you was to have a looooong and splendido time at home with your loved ones around you. Yet, the outcome of what brought you down in the end was to expected. Nothing else but that. And I really can’t get over it now. I can’t wait for the moment I will tell my tales about you to people I care about. With a smile on my face, with a loving look back on my past, our past together. Right now, I can’t. I am sad, I am fucking sad, that you had to succumb to this shitty disease. And I am still waiting for gratefulness to fully take over all negativity in me.

Today, someone asked how long it will take for me to finally be done grieving. I was quite shocked. I mean, it takes as long as it takes. And you were closer to me than many many, like actually almost ALL PEOPLE on this planet. You were my safe haven, my place to go for my heart and my mind when storms threatened to blow me off my feet. You were always there. And I tell you what: A week is not nearly close to be DONE grieving.

The days, now, after a week of knowing, have turned into one gigantic grey fog. I can’t see anything inside or on the outside. And I don’t care, eventually the fog will let me see again, just not now. And then, that someone asked me what I will do (or how I think I will grieve) when my parents die. Well, guess what, you were just as important to me as they are! You still are. You never were someone, never just the pop star on a poster. We met, we talked, I knew you and you knew me. I got to know your family, your wonderful husband who is in my thoughts all day. You never were just a pop star, you were part of my family. And you continue to be.

..have you ever heard of the five stages of grief?

Apparently, a study found out, decades ago, that human beings go through five stages of grief. They have a significant order. First, there is denial, then there is anger, followed by bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I have experienced grief before, but never as much as I do now. And that, probably, makes me a lucky person, because when I honestly tell you that they day of your death (or rather of the press release of your death) was the worst day in my life, I can say I have lead a good life up to that day, with little losses and less pain. And I think it’s true. My heart has been broken, I cried a lot, I lost my dog after 11 years together, I grieved then, too. But never as I do now. Yet, what is exactly the same: There are no five stages of grief for me. I experience them all in no particular order at the fucking same time. One minute I am in denial, then I am getting angry, followed by a brief moment of acceptance, before I try to bargain and get angry again. There are moment during the day when I forget shortly that you passed. And then, when I remember, it hits me like a truck again. The hit and the aftermath of that hit is getting weaker, but it still hurts like hell.

People might wonder why I am angry. Well, I am angry at you, of course. Grief is such a selfish thing. After a few days I always realize that it’s not you I am grieving for, I grieve for myself to have lost you. A huge piece has been taken off my existence, my being me, my body, my heart. Where there once was you, there is a big black hole now, and that’s what I am grieving for. Furthermore, I know you are in a better place now. You fought for so long, you overcame the illness, you did so many beautiful things in the years you had left – there is no reason to bemoan your passing for the sake of YOU. So, yes, it’s selfish. And I am angry that you left us here, without a word, without a smile, without waving goodbye. How dare you? Well, you know what I mean… it’s not WHAT I mean. Just a feeling that gets replaced by bargaining or depression very quickly.

At least the tears have subsided mostly – for now. There is just this huge black hole inside of me. I haven’t laughed since Tuesday, not whole-heartedly, I don’t feel like meeting people and listening to their problems, I want to wallow in self-pity and feel depressed. For now.

Dear Marie, dear readers…

as we’ve all learned with great shock and sadness, Marie Fredriksson passed away on December 9, 2019. Surely, if we are true and honest to ourselves, we all knew this day would eventually come. But I am also fairly sure that none of us expected it to happen that fast.

I was thinking yesterday what to do with this website. I can’t give it up, I won’t give it up. I loved and adored this woman to the moon and back. And I still have a 1000 thoughts in my head, things I would have loved to tell her.

So, I decided to turn this page into blog where I will write my letters to Marie and share some of my thoughts with the internet. Feel free to comment, feel free to leave, feel free to read. Whatever suits you!

I don’t want to let this page die, just because we all know there won’t be any great news anymore. It has to live on. For Marie, for us, the fans, for her family and for her great legacy.

All the best

Miracles, thankfulness, a whole new world and much affection from both sides

It’s over! 19 shows in 2 months – the solo tour of Marie Fredriksson is finished. But there are many things that feel neverending – all memories and feelings we shared on this tour stay forever. We were the first crowd that made people stand up in Luleå – at least that’s what they (the media) say.

Starting with the first show in Helsingborg mixed feelings are around – some say it was one of the best shows just because it happened, just because Marie was on stage, performing her own songs, some others missed her talking but very well knew that she seemed to be very nervous that night. In fact, Marie got more and more relaxed from show to show and it felt great to be part of that. We were there for her only, to support her and show the rest of the audience why we were there. Most of the people in the audience didn’t join our cheering and supporting and it felt like they even had problems clapping their hands. At the beginning of the tour we didn’t quite know how and if to stand up and how long. In the end we just did and nobody cared about the reactions of the Swedish people. And yes, in the end it was totally clear we would already stand up during “Kom Vila Hos Mig”, which was the second song of the set. Once, Jokke had told us that Marie feels much better when she knows we are there from the beginning and supporting her to the fullest and so it became like a secret agreement to stand up during the 2nd song. We never stopped it again since then, we kept it till the end. Sometimes we just shared a look with other fans, making a move to stand up and then we stood.

It’s hard to choose THE best show since everybody probably has their own favourite night, moment, memory – for me, in Jönköping Marie seemed to be very relaxed, talked a lot, cared less about everything else and just enjoyed herself (and maybe us). In Göteborg the audience was the loudest and the best – it was nice to see that it in fact IS possible to get people stand.

Malmö will be in the heads forever, just because Marie didn’t feel well and struggled with her leg. Oh, many would have loved to help her that night. But to see that she never gives up, never ever, that she is just going on, fighting, being strong – it shows a lot to everyone and provides a lot of strength to everyone. No, she didn’t want a chair, no, she didn’t want to stop, so she came back on socks after the break and gave her best.

These are the moments when suddenly it’s totally clear why she is such an inspiration for so many people. She is a fighter, always smiling, always going strong. And just, when everyone thought that she is somehow making it on her own (but of course with a lot of help and support of her husband!) she tells us to help her again when the next Roxette tour is on. So it happened after the last show in Umeå. First she promised that we see us soon again and then she said: “You have to help me again.” Ah, yes, we will, we so will, that’s what we try to do all the time and that’s exactly what is my personal story with Marie which I adore for 23 years now.

I remember the first show of the Night Of The Proms concerts in Antwerp. I sat in the audience, far away. The lights went down, Marie came up sitting on a stool, walking shyly to the microphone and sang. They started with  “Wish I could fly” and she must have had a little blackout back then. She repeated the first line of the song three times. I was shocked, it wasn’t the Marie I remembered. I was shocked for about 20 seconds and then it was totally clear: I wasn’t there for my own entertainment, I was there to support her and it made me buy so many tickets that I saw 16 shows in total in the end. The motivation is still the same – support, support, support, nothing else.

But back to this year, back to “Nu!” – we experienced a lot of miracles again, we got a lot of thankfulness of the band and found a whole new world ourselves. There was so much affection from both sides that it will keep us going until the next tour.

We heard a lot of wonderful new veIMG_9168rsions, Så stilla så långsamt, Bara för en dag or Den Sjunde Vågen – just to mention only a few. Every concert had its special moments. Every concert seemed to feature at least one crazy fan that decided maybe 10 hours before the show to come and support Marie, to never let this energy stop. Almost every concert brought some surprises – be it roses, lights, signs or just loud cheering. And every concert was a part of a true miracle.

If only Marie knew how many lifes she has saved throughout the years and how many lifes she turned to the better, she wouldn’t believe it. So it feels more than right to give something back, yes, exactly, to give something back. It feels good to know that it’s possible at all.

And there is one memory that stays forever – the little talk some fans had after the last show in Umeå. We finally realized that we never really thanked Micke for being the one in a million. We knew there wouldn’t be a chance to do so very soon and felt a bit sad. We said that we at least hope that he knows that we know what he is doing and the we very well appreciate it.

Last but not least we take all the wonderful memories of this tour with us – be it meetings (see mine in Umeå with Astrid), great concerts which can’t be forgotten, bad beers after the shows and a lot of nice people on the way.

Marie in “Tack för musiken”

The Swedish TV show “Tack för musiken” with Marie Fredriksson was broadcast last night on SVT. Host Niklas Strömstedt started the show with his version of “Tro”. The show has been  recorded on August 27th.

You can watch the full show here.

Marie performed I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You (Aretha Franklin), Sparvöga, Ännu doftar kärlek, Tro, Efter stormen, It Must Have Been Love, Den bästa dagen, Om du såg mig nu, Sista sommarens vals and Kom vila hos mig.

You can read a full report and a summary of the show on our partner site Roxetteblog.com.

Marie’s husband Mikael Bolyos was also there and played the keyboards. At some points you can certainly tell someone is still very much in love with Marie.

“Nu!” is out

Marie Fredriksson’s new album “Nu!” is finally out. Since Monday it was possible to listen to it via wimpmusic.se, today it’s been physically released.
The album contains 12 songs, this is the songlist:

1.) Kom vila hos mig (first single!)
2.) Det bästa som nånsin kan hända
3.) Det är nu!
4.) Längtan
5.) Sista sommarens vals (the only song Marie wrote on her own, will be the 2nd single, video has been shot this week in Stockholm)
6.) Aldrig längre bort än nära
7.) Bara 3 ord
8.) Känn dig som hemma (written by Per Gessle)
9.) Jag undrar vad du tänker på
10.) Stjärna som brinner
11.) I morgon
12.) Vad vore jag utan dej

Most songs have been written by Mikael Bolyos, who has cooperated with many other songwriters this time, such as Johan Kinde and Ulf Schagerström.
Swedish media has also already reviewed the album, that’s what is online so far:

SvD: Stundtals skimrande som klassisk pop bör vara, 4/6
Smålandsposten: Nu! skulle kunna kallas för Marie Fredrikssons riktiga come back som soloartist, 2/5
Göteborgsposten:  (A bad review without a headline. Go figure! ;), 2/5
Aftonbladet: En välkommen men välbekant comeback, 3/5
UNT.se: Ett hyggligt hantverk
GD.se: Var skåpet ska stå, 4/5
Örnsköldsviks Allehanda: Kanse Maries bästa, 4/5

New single out today, uh, tomorrow – album coming in November

Marie Fredriksson’s new album is called “Nu!” and will be out at November 26th. Today, or maybe tomorrow – no one could tell so far – the first single off Nu! will be out. The song is called “Kom vila hos mig” and had its radio premiere yesterday. Someone was fast enough to record it and uploaded it to YouTube. Please take a listen:

The song has been written by Marie’s husband Mikael Bolyos, who wrote most of the songs on this album, Christoffer Lundquist produced it – both you can hear very clearly.

One song is written by Marie herself and one song is written by her Roxette partner and friend Per Gessle. So far we don’t know what the other songs on the album are called. Hopefully, it will be possible to buy the single tomorrow the latest.

In the press release, Marie also says that she hopes she can take the album on a tour – which would take place next year. Let’s keep our fingers crossed she decides to really tour!


This is – by the way – the cover of “Kom vila hos mig”:

Please also check the newly released Marie Fredriksson Facebook page. It’s online since yesterday and already has more than 2300 likes.

Marie Fredriksson in charity calendar

Swedish photographer Caroline Roosmark who has recently taken photos of Roxette created a calendar for 2012 for charity. It’s called Women & Men 2012.

“The calendar is made on a very tight budget, none of the extras or stars get any payment, yet they never turn Caroline down, in spite of their often jam-packed schedules”, The Daily Roxette writes. Marie Fredriksson of Roxette is also participating in the calendar. The text on May’s page reads as follows: She couldn’t come along, they took away from her pearls and ribbons, all the visible signs of success. Sparrows’ eyes followed her, the birds sat in her hands. The smallest animals by the hem of her dress. A friendly light fell over the backyard and we know: soon she’s going out in the world.

The calendar is for sale at Caroline’s site, the price is 169 SEK. You may also purchase the original photos there.

Marie and Mikael to perform at Citytunneln inauguration

Marie Fredriksson will perform together with her husband Micke Bolyos at the inauguration ceremony of Citytunneln, a 17-kilometer rail link between Malmö Central Station and the Öresund Bridge. As the grand finale, HM King Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden will officially open the tunnel for traffic. The ceremony will be held next to the Malmö Central Station on December 4 and is free to the public.
Other artists performing at the ceremony include Nisse Hellberg, Timbuktu, and Ola Salo.