..we hoped for something else…

and you know that, right? First of all, we wanted you to live forever, of course. Healthy, peaceful, with lots of love, good food and blessful moments to remember. When we realized that we wouldn’t get that, we hoped that you at least would get old enough to say that your life has been lived. We actually never figured you off stage.

I remember one chat right before your solo concert in Jönköping in 2014. It was a Friday night and we were giddy. Two concerts ahead, another weekend filled with friends, joy and MOST OF ALL YOUR VOICE! You know that sometimes, during your shows, I just sat there and listened with my eyes closed. IN THE FRONT ROW. Others would have maybe wanted to hit me for that, but all I needed in these moments was your voice. Especially during my favourite song of all times, Det Regnar Igen. And I remember the feeling I had when you played it in Helsingborg, on your opening night. I felt so blessed that I got to hear it live. At last.

Well, however, back to Jönköping. There we stood, waiting to get inside, talking, excited. And we wondered how you could actually ever be without the stage. We just couldn’t imagine and we made some bad jokes about it. Like… someone pushing you on stage in a wheelchair, microphone in one hand and the other doing a victory sign and a bright grin on your face. And since we knew that your walking wasn’t the best at that time already, we invented kind of stage treadmill which would bring you from one side to the other – and a walking frame in front of you. We laughed, we were so happy. It wasn’t because of the jokes, but because of the fact that we were there, about to see you on stage that night, convinced that this glorious feeling would never end. The joy of seeing you on stage, the joy of being in your aura, being part of your aura, having our batteries refilled. Because that’s – among many other things – what you could. You could recharge batteries just like that.

That night in Jönköping felt so light, it felt so natural for us, too. We came for what we were – also – born for: following you around, like paper and glue. You do very well know that we had this kind of symbiosis from the beginning. You needed us and we needed you, and for probably all of us something like this will never happen again. It was once in a lifetime. And please forgive us our jokes, but I know you would have laughed as well.