I got the impression in the nine years when we have met several times, that you haven’t been a woman who missed opportunities or easily let them pass while standing by and doing nothing. And with you, I sometimes learned to see an opportunity and take it. Most often at least. It is all about living NOW, HERE. I didn’t always succeed, and I feel it now that you are gone. I remember specifically a night in Stuttgart in 2011, I think. You had a concert on Neckarsulm and at night drove all the way back to your hotel in Stuttgart. We had a feeling and followed the bus. It wasn’t the shortest drive in the world, so when we finally saw you arriving at the hotel, we saw that it was already past midnight, close to 1 am. We – four fangirling women in a car – were hesitating if the time was right to approach you. Back then we didn’t know about the apparently new rule “no pictures after the concerts”, but we hesitated anyway. Well, one of us had the guts to approach Per, who walked out of the bus almost directly after the doors had opened. He refused to take a photo, but then he saw us, thought about it again and agreed. I took the photo, because I couldn’t bring myself to be on it. He was clearly tired and I felt bad to bother him, especially since I knew I would meet him the next day for an organized meet and greet at the next concert.
However, in the back, something weird happened. You strolled out of the bus, a bottle of beer in your hand. And you looked to your right, where we were standing, checking the photo with Per, who just had left to go inside. You were walking so slowly that we could have approached you like ten times with no hurry and the looks you gave us clearly indicated that you WANTED to be approached. But we just couldn’t, even if we kind of agreed afterwards that you were totally waiting for it, and you probably would have even wanted and liked it. So we let you go. And today I think: Yeah, that was SOME missed opportunity. It wouldn’t have changed anything in my life, but it would have changed the moment, and maybe another moment, and a moment after that. And I know that you and I agree on the fact that life is about moments. This example in Stuttgart is just one of many when I didn’t dare approaching you. I was in awe, so please excuse me ignoring you. Trust me, I didn’t.
I wonder how many missed opportunities you gathered in your life. This morning, when I drove my new dog to the vet, I was listening to some Roxette tunes and I got angry again. Not at you, but at fate. I suddenly got the feeling that you had not sung enough. Your voice needed more melodies, more songs, more singing. You never reached a peak, that’s what I have always been saying. You could have sung so much more, so many beautiful songs. And you never got the chance. So, even if you disagree on this, I think this is definitely a missed opportunity.
And what I learn from this train of thoughts – basically another thing that your existence taught me, brought me, and leaves me striving for: Cherish the moments, make the best of each moment you get. And if you are afraid something might turn out wrong, do it. Now more than ever! It is probably worth it. And if turns out to be a bad decision: Life is also about bad decisions.
So, this day leaves me thinking that I would have loved to hear some cover versions sung by you: some Beatles tunes, some other 60’s tunes, some beautiful ballads and bluesy songs. And most of all I regret that you haven’t been able to write some music on your own anymore, because, honestly, even if large parts of the fandom would disagree, your own songs were the most intense, of course. You proved it with Sista Sommarens Vals, even when there was nothing to prove anymore. Thank you!