…there is this guy I know…

and I am pretty sure you have seen him once or twice. He is in his sixties, but not looking a day older than 52, I’d say. Love hit him when he was around 33 or 34. It was a big love and he became a father very soon after falling in love. Then he got married and his wife had another child. In between, they hit the road, because his wife was a popstar at the time, which means that she had to travel the world with her partner in the duo she formed. So, he followed around, taking care of the firstborn, the second child, a boy, hadn’t been born then. You could tell by the way he looked at his wife that he really loved her. And when you saw how she looked at him, then you knew that those two had found something bigger than life. He was a musician, too, just not as well-known or famous or rich. But, at least on the outside, he didn’t seem to care a lot. He carried that burden like it was nothing, and I doubt it’s easy for any man to live in the shadows.

He was the kindest guy I ever met, he understood how important fans are, he was always trying to meet his wife’s needs and her fans’. And it often worked perfectly.

When they had their second child, she decided it was time for a break. Together, they produced a solo album of hers, he did the arrangements, and to the day it is my favourite album, even if the rest of the world thinks that the one she had released before that was her best ever. I loved the guy almost as much as I loved you.

Then his wife got sick, seriously ill. Sounds familiar? Their children had just turned 9 and 6. He took care of them and his wife. I am pretty sure that it was the hardest and at the same time the easiest thing he ever did. He helped her to push through and despite every prognosis she survived. And when she was healthy again, she decided it was about time to hit the road once again. Maybe for the last time. So, again, he packed his suitcases and followed her. It was the only thing he knew, the only right thing to do. While she was sick, he managed even to release a solo album of his own. It’s actually a quite underrated record, I must say. Well, if you find a copy here or there.. buy it. It’s called “A family affair” and I recommend the tracks “Lilly” and “What am I supposed to do” especially.

A decade later, his wife’s health began to fail once again. This time it was clear that there was nothing to prevent it. They could slow it down, but not stop it. Once again, he took care of her, he was there when she needed him the most. Well, to be honest, all I am writing here is just an impression I got from the outside. I don’t know how everything was on the inside. But a man that stands by his woman for 17 years, that not always have been easy and light, that means something. I admired his strength, his love and the way he was able to also take care of himself.

Dear Marie, what can I say? The story doesn’t end well. His wife died eventually. She fought as long as she could, and now he’s alone. The children are grown up, there’s nothing left to prove. And for a few days now, this man is constantly in my thoughts. I wonder how he is doing, what he is doing, how he is holding up, if he saw it coming for a long time. I feel for him, and my love and compassion for him is pouring out of me in a way I didn’t expect.

And you know what? All I wish for him at this point is to find happiness again one day. To receive love, support, understanding – exactly like he was able to give to his wife. To you. I want him to wake up one morning and be free, light, glad, grateful and ready for his life. It won’t be too soon, maybe, but it will come! Because he deserves it.