..tempus fugit, they say,

tempus fugit, amor manet – time flies, love stays. And yes, time flies. I have no idea how the last five days passed, because it actually feels like I am not only stuck in a dark, sad, devastated emotion, but also in time. Five days since we got to know you passed away. Five days that at the same time feel like only seconds and yet years have passed. I basically can’t remember many of the things I did in the past week. I don’t remember the drives home from work, I don’t remember whom I met, whom I talked to, what I ate. It’s all caught in a grey haze, no chance to get out anytime soon or to get a clear sight.

Love stays. And yes, of course it does. Where would it go? And this is maybe one of the main reasons for grief: There is no aim anymore, no goal, no finish line it can be directed at. All the time when I could be sure that you are around somewhere, I wanted to believe that if only I sent you enough love by thinking warmly of you, it would eventually reach you. But now there’s nothing there anymore. And I am holding on to my belief that your soul will always be with us, it definitely didn’t die with your body. And yet, I still have to find that aim, a new finish line. I was used to love for 28 years straight. It was a safe love, it couldn’t hurt me or anyone else who loved you. That’s why many fans are fans: they can love unconditionally without being hurt. That has been taken from me, and, as of now, I can make the promise that a love like that will never happen to me again, ever. The love for you also always meant I would not ever been left alone or behind. You were always there for me, like a steady and calming background noise on the quieter days and a loud and energizing stage noise during the tours.

Five days in a grey haze, 28 years in a mostly pink cloud, guiding me through my life. And when I chatted with others this week, a question bothered us. Did you know? Did you know you were on borrowed time? Did you know this cruel illness would once strike back and finally defeat you? Yes, yes, I well know that those are not our questions to ask. And it’s another one I don’t want to ever hear an answer to. I don’t want to know ANYTHING.

I guess you somehow did know you were on borrowed time, though. Maybe not until 2010 or 2011, but after that.. yes. Maybe that’s why you didn’t give up touring and insisted on doing it despite the fact that your body partly refused to do what it should. And thinking that you knew makes me admire you even more. I am a bit conflicted here, because on the other hand, it also makes me feel even sadder. I think most of us thought that you really, like really and for good had defeated this illness and its long term effects and were healthy, as healthy as someone who had this treatment could be. Maybe you, too, believed this for a while. It makes the outcome even more cruel. And it doesn’t give me comfort for a second that you survived longer than anyone else with that diagnosis.
What do they also say? Time flies when you’re having fun? I tell you: Time also flies when your body consists of nothing but grief. And at the same time it – time – just stands still. The world stops while life is going on.

Amor manet!
All the best
Kirsten

…it was a bit disrespectful

.. to assume you would live forever. But you know, icons DO LIVE forever. Idols live forever. People in your life, who comfort you for almost 30 years in every situation that life throws at you, have to live forever. However, I knew, somehow, the day would come when life would prove me wrong. Because life and death belong together. I tried to prepare, I tried to get ready. But you, you were the invincible one, THE ONE. And when I thought of you in the past 1,5 years, I always imagined you sitting in your garden, watching the trees and the sun, with this lovely soft smile on your face, enjoying the mild summer wind in your hair, your loved ones around you. No pain, no fear. The pure existence. And in winter, I saw you sitting in your living room, with a fire on, someone telling a story to make you laugh, to make you feel better. I wasn’t ready to accept that you might be in pain, suffering, fighting every day. And I have all those questions in my head that I can’t say out loud, because those questions are not mine to ask, and much worse, I really don’t want to hear the answers to it. I just hope you were in a way relieved to sleep in, that it was actually helping, because I can’t really imagine you succumbing to death just like that. I refuse. And regarding this, I am still in utter denial. It is the one thing that will stay with me for a while. I refuse to think you died just like that. Because you are my ICON, my IDOL, my symbol of invincibility.

Maybe it was time to go. Maybe you wanted to go.

With love
Kirsten

Dear Marie, dear readers…

as we’ve all learned with great shock and sadness, Marie Fredriksson passed away on December 9, 2019. Surely, if we are true and honest to ourselves, we all knew this day would eventually come. But I am also fairly sure that none of us expected it to happen that fast.

I was thinking yesterday what to do with this website. I can’t give it up, I won’t give it up. I loved and adored this woman to the moon and back. And I still have a 1000 thoughts in my head, things I would have loved to tell her.

So, I decided to turn this page into blog where I will write my letters to Marie and share some of my thoughts with the internet. Feel free to comment, feel free to leave, feel free to read. Whatever suits you!

I don’t want to let this page die, just because we all know there won’t be any great news anymore. It has to live on. For Marie, for us, the fans, for her family and for her great legacy.

All the best
Kirsten

New song released: “Alone again”

Turning 59 on May 30th, Marie Fredriksson released a new song called “Alone again”. It’s a jazzy tune and she is accompanied by Max Schultz and Magnus Lindgren.

You can order the song in several digital platforms. More info here.

She also recorded an official video for the song which you can watch here:

Miracles, thankfulness, a whole new world and much affection from both sides

It’s over! 19 shows in 2 months – the solo tour of Marie Fredriksson is finished. But there are many things that feel neverending – all memories and feelings we shared on this tour stay forever. We were the first crowd that made people stand up in Luleå – at least that’s what they (the media) say.

Starting with the first show in Helsingborg mixed feelings are around – some say it was one of the best shows just because it happened, just because Marie was on stage, performing her own songs, some others missed her talking but very well knew that she seemed to be very nervous that night. In fact, Marie got more and more relaxed from show to show and it felt great to be part of that. We were there for her only, to support her and show the rest of the audience why we were there. Most of the people in the audience didn’t join our cheering and supporting and it felt like they even had problems clapping their hands. At the beginning of the tour we didn’t quite know how and if to stand up and how long. In the end we just did and nobody cared about the reactions of the Swedish people. And yes, in the end it was totally clear we would already stand up during “Kom Vila Hos Mig”, which was the second song of the set. Once, Jokke had told us that Marie feels much better when she knows we are there from the beginning and supporting her to the fullest and so it became like a secret agreement to stand up during the 2nd song. We never stopped it again since then, we kept it till the end. Sometimes we just shared a look with other fans, making a move to stand up and then we stood.

It’s hard to choose THE best show since everybody probably has their own favourite night, moment, memory – for me, in Jönköping Marie seemed to be very relaxed, talked a lot, cared less about everything else and just enjoyed herself (and maybe us). In Göteborg the audience was the loudest and the best – it was nice to see that it in fact IS possible to get people stand.

Malmö will be in the heads forever, just because Marie didn’t feel well and struggled with her leg. Oh, many would have loved to help her that night. But to see that she never gives up, never ever, that she is just going on, fighting, being strong – it shows a lot to everyone and provides a lot of strength to everyone. No, she didn’t want a chair, no, she didn’t want to stop, so she came back on socks after the break and gave her best.

These are the moments when suddenly it’s totally clear why she is such an inspiration for so many people. She is a fighter, always smiling, always going strong. And just, when everyone thought that she is somehow making it on her own (but of course with a lot of help and support of her husband!) she tells us to help her again when the next Roxette tour is on. So it happened after the last show in Umeå. First she promised that we see us soon again and then she said: “You have to help me again.” Ah, yes, we will, we so will, that’s what we try to do all the time and that’s exactly what is my personal story with Marie which I adore for 23 years now.

I remember the first show of the Night Of The Proms concerts in Antwerp. I sat in the audience, far away. The lights went down, Marie came up sitting on a stool, walking shyly to the microphone and sang. They started with  “Wish I could fly” and she must have had a little blackout back then. She repeated the first line of the song three times. I was shocked, it wasn’t the Marie I remembered. I was shocked for about 20 seconds and then it was totally clear: I wasn’t there for my own entertainment, I was there to support her and it made me buy so many tickets that I saw 16 shows in total in the end. The motivation is still the same – support, support, support, nothing else.

But back to this year, back to “Nu!” – we experienced a lot of miracles again, we got a lot of thankfulness of the band and found a whole new world ourselves. There was so much affection from both sides that it will keep us going until the next tour.

We heard a lot of wonderful new veIMG_9168rsions, Så stilla så långsamt, Bara för en dag or Den Sjunde Vågen – just to mention only a few. Every concert had its special moments. Every concert seemed to feature at least one crazy fan that decided maybe 10 hours before the show to come and support Marie, to never let this energy stop. Almost every concert brought some surprises – be it roses, lights, signs or just loud cheering. And every concert was a part of a true miracle.

If only Marie knew how many lifes she has saved throughout the years and how many lifes she turned to the better, she wouldn’t believe it. So it feels more than right to give something back, yes, exactly, to give something back. It feels good to know that it’s possible at all.

And there is one memory that stays forever – the little talk some fans had after the last show in Umeå. We finally realized that we never really thanked Micke for being the one in a million. We knew there wouldn’t be a chance to do so very soon and felt a bit sad. We said that we at least hope that he knows that we know what he is doing and the we very well appreciate it.

Last but not least we take all the wonderful memories of this tour with us – be it meetings (see mine in Umeå with Astrid), great concerts which can’t be forgotten, bad beers after the shows and a lot of nice people on the way.

Marie in “Tack för musiken”

The Swedish TV show “Tack för musiken” with Marie Fredriksson was broadcast last night on SVT. Host Niklas Strömstedt started the show with his version of “Tro”. The show has been  recorded on August 27th.

You can watch the full show here.

Marie performed I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You (Aretha Franklin), Sparvöga, Ännu doftar kärlek, Tro, Efter stormen, It Must Have Been Love, Den bästa dagen, Om du såg mig nu, Sista sommarens vals and Kom vila hos mig.

You can read a full report and a summary of the show on our partner site Roxetteblog.com.

Marie’s husband Mikael Bolyos was also there and played the keyboards. At some points you can certainly tell someone is still very much in love with Marie.

“Nu!” is out

Marie Fredriksson’s new album “Nu!” is finally out. Since Monday it was possible to listen to it via wimpmusic.se, today it’s been physically released.
The album contains 12 songs, this is the songlist:

1.) Kom vila hos mig (first single!)
2.) Det bästa som nånsin kan hända
3.) Det är nu!
4.) Längtan
5.) Sista sommarens vals (the only song Marie wrote on her own, will be the 2nd single, video has been shot this week in Stockholm)
6.) Aldrig längre bort än nära
7.) Bara 3 ord
8.) Känn dig som hemma (written by Per Gessle)
9.) Jag undrar vad du tänker på
10.) Stjärna som brinner
11.) I morgon
12.) Vad vore jag utan dej

Most songs have been written by Mikael Bolyos, who has cooperated with many other songwriters this time, such as Johan Kinde and Ulf Schagerström.
Swedish media has also already reviewed the album, that’s what is online so far:

SvD: Stundtals skimrande som klassisk pop bör vara, 4/6
Smålandsposten: Nu! skulle kunna kallas för Marie Fredrikssons riktiga come back som soloartist, 2/5
Göteborgsposten:  (A bad review without a headline. Go figure! ;), 2/5
Aftonbladet: En välkommen men välbekant comeback, 3/5
UNT.se: Ett hyggligt hantverk
GD.se: Var skåpet ska stå, 4/5
Örnsköldsviks Allehanda: Kanse Maries bästa, 4/5

New single out today, uh, tomorrow – album coming in November

Marie Fredriksson’s new album is called “Nu!” and will be out at November 26th. Today, or maybe tomorrow – no one could tell so far – the first single off Nu! will be out. The song is called “Kom vila hos mig” and had its radio premiere yesterday. Someone was fast enough to record it and uploaded it to YouTube. Please take a listen:

The song has been written by Marie’s husband Mikael Bolyos, who wrote most of the songs on this album, Christoffer Lundquist produced it – both you can hear very clearly.

One song is written by Marie herself and one song is written by her Roxette partner and friend Per Gessle. So far we don’t know what the other songs on the album are called. Hopefully, it will be possible to buy the single tomorrow the latest.

In the press release, Marie also says that she hopes she can take the album on a tour – which would take place next year. Let’s keep our fingers crossed she decides to really tour!

WE WANT THAT!!

This is – by the way – the cover of “Kom vila hos mig”:

Please also check the newly released Marie Fredriksson Facebook page. It’s online since yesterday and already has more than 2300 likes.

New album and solo tour in 2013?

While Marie Fredriksson is still on tour with Roxette until September 2012, there are rumours out that we might get a new Swedish Marie album and a solo tour next year.

And this is not only a rumour spread by fans but it was Marie herself who gave that information to Roxette fans some days ago – at least she said something will happen in 2013. So far, this information is not confirmed and we don’t know anything more than that. But if only one of those two rumours is true (album and/or tour) we should feel more than happy!